There’s an almost insurmountable distance between me and anyone who isn’t rendered dysfunctional by depression. I don’t understand how they have the energy or motivation to do anything; they can’t see why basic daily activities, such as going out alone, are difficult for me. In fact, sometimes I don’t get it either, and that is one misunderstanding most people overlook: the condition has causes rooted so deeply that even the depressed person himself can’t make sense of it.
Depression is a result of many experiences and complex psychological processes intertwined together, much like a complicated knot made by another hundreds of different knots. To make sense of it is like trying to untie all the knots – it’s virtually impossible. But what we can do is to accept the fact that these knots are part of life, and ultimately, we are the only ones who can get ourselves better and to deal with Mr or Ms Knot O’Knots. Acceptance is a long and difficult process, mostly because we blame ourselves for everything; we always think we could’ve done better, but in reality, what we did is the best we could’ve done at the time.
Today I woke up thinking, “God I hate myself so much. Even my subconscious hates me.” Most people don’t understand how much self-hatred embroils me. I’m scared. I’m weak. I’m a failure and can’t achieve anything in life. A lot of nights I lie in bed telling my teddy bear, “you’re all I have now.” Sometimes it feels like she’s the only one who will not abandon me, and will always be with me no matter what happens.
This is how I’ve been feeling this week: lost, don’t know what to do; can’t make sense of myself; abandoned.
Do you see the distance now?
Writing 101 – Assignment 1.
Google Panda—your new hug buddy that does the Search for you—is introduced by Google Japan today.
I have a dream, that this adorable Google Panda will one day be owned by everyone so we all can carry our personal hug buddy around whom also enrich our knowledge.
I have a dream, that one day this Google Panda will rise up and live out the true meaning of one of Google’s creeds: you don’t need to be at your desk to need an answer.
I have a dream, that everyone—including people who don’t own a computer or any high-tech gadget—will one day have indiscriminate access to knowledge.
Intrigued by the Google Panda? Read more about it here. And while you’re at it, check out the new version of Google’s search page, which isn’t your usual google.com ❗
In related news, Microsoft announced three new products in Office 2016 – find out more here. I did some research and found OneNap to be the best selling app and thus far was the most popular amongst new users, including myself 🐱
Speaking of product launch, CNN has compiled a list of new products coming out this spring, including Bing’s Cute Cloud and Samsung’s cutting-edge Galaxy BLADE edge (pun intended 😉 ). And the list isn’t without surprises or cuteness. View the full list here.
Think everything’s too good (or too cute) to be true? Doubt not but be believing, because…APRIL FOOL! Please don’t be mad, I just want you to be a Happy April Fool with me ❤ Guilty of pulling pranks on someone? Being a victim to one today? Tell me your story and the person’s/your reaction! Otherwise, take the Last Week Tonight No-Prank Pledge in the comments! Or, just tell me the greatest practical joke you come up with, but don’t pull it on me! 😛
When I die, I want to be cremated and have my ashes mixed with the explosives in the skyrockets or aerial shells or whatever you call those firework canisters. Then my funeral is going to be a celebration for everyone alive, while I shoot across the sky to be with the stars – how romantic.